Do you speak Air Horn?

 

My dad liked to play this joke growing up. When we were driving and he saw someone he didn’t know doing some yard work outside, he would roll down his window, honk the horn and wave. Being a small mid-western town, people would usually wave back, assuming they knew the ‘honkee’. Dad thought this was hilarious. (Like most fathers, Dad’s jokes were really only funny to him.)

His trick worked because in my culture, a horn honking meant only one of two things. 1) I am six inches away from hitting your car, or 2) Hello, I know you.

In fact, when I was back in the US for about two months, I heard someone honk a horn a total of four times over sixty days, and two of those were at me for my poor driving skills.

Here in India the horn is, shall we say, more loquacious?

Here is a handy guide for understanding the meanings of the Indian horn.

 

 

The Single

Short, subtle, proper. Used by passive drivers to calmly communicate unimportant information to neighboring cars.

 

Possible meanings include:

• I’m here
• Don’t forget that I exist
• Don’t mind me, I’m just coming through

 

 

The Double

Serious, intentional, forceful. This is used to arouse the attention of nearby drivers.

 

Possible meanings include:

• The light has turned green
• The light will turn green in 5 seconds
• I’m going to pass you on this narrow road where there isn’t enough room for one car
• Please don’t be dumb as you think about pulling out in front of me

 

The Triple

Purposefully obnoxious. This indicates a high degree of dissatisfaction with other drivers.

 

Possible meanings include:

• The light is red, but there is no traffic coming and therefore you should go
• The light has been green for .05 seconds and you still aren’t moving!
• You were just dumb, thanks a lot
• I am invincible, get out of my way!
• I am upset that traffic has not moved in 3 minutes, but I think that by blasting this horn, I will make people move faster

 

 

The Repeated Triple

Insistent, unrelenting. This triad is repeated over and over as long as anything is in the way. Generally used by AHOL license holders.

 

Possible meanings include:

• I am more important than you; get out of my way

 

 

The Big Blast

This is the attention-grabber. It is used to signal a severe infraction of the rules of driving.

 

Possible meanings include:

• I’m literally about to hit you
• What were you thinking being so dumb?
• Will everyone look at what this dumb person is doing?
• Why are you still in the way?

 

 

The Double Blast

Usually used by large vehicles to mimic the sound of an oncoming train and warn you will face a similar fate if you don’t get out of the way.

(This one’s a little loud; you might want to adjust your speakers first)

 

 

The Big Blast + The Triple

This one conveys intense urgency.

 

Possible meanings include:

• I am very late for where I need to go, please move now
• I don’t have time for all of you millions of other people

 

 

The Extended Blast

Provocative, intense. This one is meant to attract the attention not just of the driver, but the entire nation.

 

Possible meanings include:

• Oh my goodness, what in the world are you doing?
• Get off the road right now!
• Are you serious?

 

The Air Horn

Large vehicles often employ air horns to communicate their message with a certain style or flair. Generally translates to: I can do whatever I want because I am massive.

Here are a few samples.

 

 

Now go out and practice your new language!

 

 

Special thanks to my neighbors who noticed nothing out of the ordinary while I recorded these sounds.

Image Credit: Adam Cohn on Flickr