Learning India

Making sense of the subcontinent

Filed Under: #ChaosBeatsLogic, Transportation

What To Do If You Are In A Car Accident in India

Car Accident in India

Editor’s note: Dear Mom and Dad, the kids are ok. Everything I learned here happened a long time ago, so no need to worry.

 

 

This is one of those articles you don’t read until it’s too late.

Driving in India is dangerous. More road fatalities occurred in India in 2013 than in Brazil, Indonesia, Nigeria, the US, Russia, and Pakistan combined. (Those countries ranked numbers 3-8 respectively. China was #1.)

However, based on the rules of driving in India, you might actually be surprised at how few accidents you get in. I drove in India for several years before I had my first official accident. Here is what you need to know. [Read more…]

Filed Under: #ChaosBeatsLogic, Into India, Transportation

Do you speak Air Horn?

Horn Language

 

My dad liked to play this joke growing up. When we were driving and he saw someone he didn’t know doing some yard work outside, he would roll down his window, honk the horn and wave. Being a small mid-western town, people would usually wave back, assuming they knew the ‘honkee’. Dad thought this was hilarious. (Like most fathers, Dad’s jokes were really only funny to him.)

His trick worked because in my culture, a horn honking meant only one of two things. 1) I am six inches away from hitting your car, or 2) Hello, I know you.

In fact, when I was back in the US for about two months, I heard someone honk a horn a total of four times over sixty days, and two of those were at me for my poor driving skills.

Here in India the horn is, shall we say, more loquacious?

Here is a handy guide for understanding the meanings of the Indian horn.

 

 

The Single

Short, subtle, proper. Used by passive drivers to calmly communicate unimportant information to neighboring cars.

 

Possible meanings include: [Read more…]

Filed Under: Mark Twain, Transportation

Mark Twain on an Indian Train

Twain Railroads

 

[Taken from The Complete Works of Mark Twain: Following the Equator, Volume 2, Harper and Brothers: New York, 1925.]

 

January 30. What a spectacle the railway station was, at train-time! It was a very large station, yet when we arrived it seemed as if the whole world was present–half of it inside, the other half outside, and both halves, bearing mountainous head-loads of bedding and other freight, trying simultaneously to pass each other, in opposing floods, in one narrow door. These opposing floods were patient, gentle, long-suffering natives, with whites scattered among them at rare intervals; and wherever a white man’s native servant appeared, that native seemed to have put aside his natural gentleness for the time and invested himself with the white man’s privilege of making a way for himself by promptly shoving all intervening black things out of it. In these exhibitions of authority Satan was scandalous. He was probably a Thug in one of his former incarnations. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Transportation

Tips for Train Travel in India

Credit: Jeremy Vandel on Flickr

Credit: Jeremy Vandel on Flickr

 

Do not leave India without riding a train at least once. Nothing will help you identify more with the people around you than taking a train ride to a nearby city. Trains are the preferred mode of travel for Majority Indians, Classic Indians, and some New Indians, or basically about 90% of the country. They are fun, mostly reliable, cheap, and worth the experience. Plus, it will really impress your Indian friends.

When it is the best option:

  • If you’ve never done it before
  • If you have some extra time
  • If you are short on cash
  • If you are traveling overnight
  • If yourfinal destination is in the middle of the city
    • Train stations are more centrally located than airports

[Read more…]

Filed Under: #CustomerIsAlwaysThere, Transportation

Airport Fun

Fancy new airports seem to spring up about every month in India. While a lot of the new amenities are really nice, there are still a few things to iron out.

Here are two of my favorite shots from some recent travels.

This first one is for a water fountain. I’m glad they gave plenty of options for where to press the button, but I’m doubtful how effective each of them are.

Airport Fun
[Read more…]

Filed Under: #ChaosBeatsLogic, Transportation

How to Never Get Lost in India

lost in india giving directions

Getting places in the digital age should be easy no matter what country you are in, right?

Let’s say you want to go visit a new western pizza place that just opened in your city. You check out the website and find the address:

32 Krishna Street, 100 Foot Road, Koramangala, Bangalore

You look it up on Google Maps, just to get a rough idea of where it is. Then, to be smart, you write out the name of the pizza place, along with “32 Krishna Street, 100 Foot Road”.  You head out to your nearest auto driver, give him the address, sit back, and enjoy the ride.

Not likely. You have set yourself up for a stressful trip that is not likely to end with pizza.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: #ChaosBeatsLogic, #GreyIsWhite, Transportation

The Unwritten Rules of Driving in India

I recently spoke with the Inspector of Traffic Police for Chennai and asked him what advice he would give foreigners who want to drive in India.

He said, “Don’t do it.”

Still, there will be some of us sick souls who insist on our freedom and are willing to put our lives and sanity at risk.

But before you get into the wrong side of the car, realize you are in the passenger’s seat, get out, and get behind the driving wheel, you must acknowledge these three things:

  1. Driving in India will definitely increase the frequency of culture attacks you will experience
  2. Driving in India will increase the likelihood that you will kill someone or something (intentionally or unintentionally)
  3. You must completely forget everything you know about driving.

Driving in India is a lesson in anarchy. But if anarchy is like Indian roads, then it is not so bad once you get used to it.

Lucky for you, I found a great *old Indian driving manual at the RTO. I’ve posted some excerpts you might find helpful.

 

General Driving Guidelines:

When driving, you should assume at all times that everyone around you is suffering from a severe mental disease that makes them either suicidal or homicidal. 

For example, when you are driving down a road in very fast traffic and notice a car waiting to merge, it is best to assume this deranged driver will plan on pulling out in front of you, slowing to a stop, and then making an illegal U-turn. Once this assumption becomes common for you, you will find driving much more pleasurable.

As a driver, your only obligation is to concern yourself with what is ahead of you. Do not refer to the side nor rearview mirrors. Keep moving forward at all costs, and do not stop for any reason whatsoever.

 

Regarding Right of Way:

In every conceivable traffic situation, you always have the right of way. If you decide to ever relinquish this God-given right, these are the acceptable parties you can give it to:

-Vehicles larger than you
-City buses and water tankers whose drivers enjoy immunity in all situations
-Cows

If there is a conflict on who has the right of way, the party with the least to lose will be granted the right of way (i.e. those with no concern for human life, those who are only hired drivers, those who already have scratches on their car, those who are very late for something very important).

[Read more…]

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© Neil A. Miller, LearningIndia.in, and Madras Media Marketing LLC 2013-2015. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given.